I think something's... missing.

This story is probably the most bizarre thing I've ever read. Guy goes into surgery for what he thinks is a circumcision. He then wakes up to find his penis... gone.

I don't know anything about medical procedures, so I can't say for sure whether the doctor was wrong or right, but that poor guy! That would be a hel of a shock to wake up to.

coincidence?

What is the perfect last name for the writer of a book detailing how to lose your virginity?

"Horner" of course.

I know this is a joke and was done on purpose.
But hahahahahaha

got milk?

I always knew PETA was nuts, and this is by far not the weirdest thing or the most disturbing thing they've done, but has anyone else heard anything about this? I leave you with the following quote.

"The breast is best! Won't you give cows and their babies a break and our health a boost by switching from cow's milk to breast milk in Ben and Jerry's ice cream? Thank you for your consideration."

"Guns? oh mom, you shouldn't have! You're the best!"

All I could say when I first saw this is why! why! why! The mother of a bulllied kid admits to helping her son obtain weapons which he was planning on using in an attack on his high school.

The quote that really got me was the following:
Parisi says the mother, in her own way, was trying to help her 14-year-old son fend off bullies.

--

What... the... hell! I don't know what other options the mom had. I don't know the polacies at the school, and I don't know the type of bullying that took place. But even telling your kid to go participate in a good old fassioned fist fight is better than giving him a gun and saying "there ya go junior. go get em!"

I just marvel at some people's lack of parenting skills!

dog owners in rome are in big shit!

Rome apparently has a bit of a crappy problem. Dog owners are leaving little presents in the streets for someone else to pick up. This is a common problem around the world, but Rome has come up with a pretty uncommon solution. While it hasn't been implemented yet, the plan is to create a dog DNA database which can then be used to identify dog doo and make sure the owners pay for their crime against cleanliness.

While I give Rome points for creativity, I have to wonder how much all of this will cost. And is it really worth it? I admit stepping in dog mess isn't my favorite activity, but I don't know if I'd really want the government raising taxes to try to eliminate the problem.

O well. I guess we'll have to see how the idea turns out.

what I wish I could submit in writing to college and university professors

dear professors:
I am writing this to bring to your attention a fascenating phenomenon of which you may not be aware. Those students that shoot off emails indicating that they are visually impaired students in your class and need your sylabus and book information are not just doing it for fun. They do in fact have lives and are not doing it so they can get a headstart on all the lovely things they will be reading this semester. They are not doing it because they know it annoys you.. They are not even doing it because they are told to do it. They are actually doing it so that, come the first week in September when you assign a ridiculous amount of readings/assignments/questions, they are not pulling their hair out and praying to the higher power of their choice to please please please please please work a miracle and have all of these things transcribed when you say they are to be read or answered or done. I understand that, for reasons unknown, you like to wait until the very last minute to decide which book you will use. I realize that it is very difficult for you to figure out which articles you will put in your ridiculously long and useless course packs. I realize that you want to procrastinate, even though you tell us not to... But for the love of pete! Can you please try to get all of this stuff figured out so that your poor students are not twenty readings behind within the first two weeks of class?Now if you will excuse me, I am going to go off and think about all of the readings which I cannot do because of your serious procrastination problem)s_.

if I had $18,000,000, this is exactly what I wouldn't do

First there was the guy who spent $17,000 on George washington's hair. Then there was the cornflake that sold for $1,350.

Now, to add to the why-the-fuck-do-people-spend-their-money-on-stupid-things series, we have the pickled shark that sold for eighteen million dollars
. I don't get it... I really don't. What can you use a pickled shark for? It's not even one of those things that are really cool to have. I've never heard anyone say "dude! I'd do anything for a pickled shark!"

The next time someone wins the lottery, I doubt very highly they're going to stand there at a press conference and say "I'm so happy. I can go buy a pickled shark. My dreams are all coming true."

I know it's art,` but what the hell!

thanks for your... help?

I've seen weird people in my life. There was the guy that insisted I go to the cafeteria and grabbed my arm, forcing me to go. There was the lady who simply grabbed my arm and took me somewhere, I still don't know where I went, I had to ask someone else for directions. But over the past few weeks, I've seen some "helpful" people that were just nuts, so here we go.

I was sitting in the cafeteria with a friend, minding my own business, when some lady comes and sits at the table across from us. My friend and I continued talking, assuming that the lady was there because the cafeteria was crowded and she couldn't find another place to sit. To put the following events into perspective, I have to explain that my friend and I had been talking about solving a problem. i honestly can't remember what it was, but it had nothing to do with my orientation skills and was really not that big a deal. Anyway, without warning, the lady starts to talk to us.

"I'm sorry, but I've been listening to your conversation and I really think all your problems would be solved if you just got a dog. Blind people get them, you know, to help them get around."

I didn't know what to say. I know the lady meant well, but she said she had been listening to our conversation, which had nothing to do with orientation, never mind dogs. I tried desperately not to laugh. Crazy lady continued.

"I'm in a wheelchair, and I had a dog, and people would talk to me because I had the dog..."

and on and on and on she went. For five minutes.

I told her that I was considering getting a dog actually, but was getting O and M so that I had the correct skills, bla bla bla.

"oh you don't really need to do that, just get a dog! I'm telling you!"

I thanked her for her suggestion, and then started ignoring her. I'm not debating that the dog she had helped her, but who goes up to random strangers and starts teling them what to do? She clearly doesn't know what guidedogs do, or she would have understood when I mentioned improving my skills. Oh well, we meet weird people everyday. But heere's another weirdo who just wouldn't listen.

I was going to a class. I don't like the outside route to this particular class, because it involves me going through a courtyard, and because I am an idiot I tend to get lost in said courtyard because it's a huge open space. I solve this problem by going into the building next to the one I actually need , and transferring into the correct building using this random hallway that connects them. Anyway, I was heading for the building I wanted to go into, when I heard someone scream "stop!!!!"

Now normally when I hear someone scream that with that amount of urgency in his/her voice, I am sure that I am headed for certain disaster... Ya know, a huge whole in the ground... Maybe I'm about to fall ten feet.. I don't know really, but when someone panics like that I figure I'm headed for certain death. So I stopped and waited.

"I'm in your class. You're going into the wrong building."

I appreciated his concern. He ddin't have to be that upset, but I understood that it did look weird, so I explained (better than I did in the above paragraph) what i was trying to do.

"no no no no no," my rescuer shreaked. "you're going the wrong way! I'll take you!"

I did recognize his voice from my class, so I figured I'd just go with him. I was running late anyway. But really. Did he not hear me? Had he taken a few too many uppers that day? Seriously! All he had to do was stop calmly and say "you're going into the wrong building. would you like some help?"

Again. I appreciate the help, but oh man!

yummy yummy yummy I have ashes in my tummy!

ok. this whole thing is going to sound just morbid, but I'm seriously curious now and really want to know what the hell this is all about.

I'm taking a course called "the psychology of death and dying" this semester. Yesterday, our prof was giving a brief introduction as to the content of the course. she was talking about the different things that people do with the ashes of a loved one, and she said that on rare ocasions people have actually had the ashes made into pills by some company, and then consume one each day.

Has anyone heard of this? is my prof nuts? And if this does happen, why why why why why do people do it, and how does it not freak them out entirely!? I hope to find out more about this bazarre concept, if only to learn what the point of this thing is!

creativity gone wrong

I never did like Katy Perry's song "I kissed a girl" mostly because her voice annoys me beyond explanation. I have come up with many parodies of this particular piece of music, many of which were kind of naughty, but who is bored enough to create a church sign that reads "I kissed a girl and I liked it, and then I went to hell."

First of all, I assume that this is a conservitive christian church (most normal churches don't put up shit like this_. If that's the case, their kids, gay or otherwise, aren't allowed to listen to popular music, crappy or otherwise, so nobody in the church is going to get the messatge. And if they are not putting it up for church members and it's intended for the rest of the population, all this is going to do is make them look like a bunch of bible thumping idiots... But if they want to look like freaks that's ok with me. They have a right to put up their signs if they want to.

Apparently they also have the right to wander around on Redeau street with a ginormous cross and sign on friday nights, talking to nobody over a microphone. I feel bad for them. I admit that I have had my share of boring friday nights, and I also admit that I have been involved in some whacko churches, but even I, not even in my crazy evangelist phase, did anything that messed up.

I really think the coocoos of the world should go put that awsome creative energy to use. I have no idea what it could be used for, but maybe someone else can think of something better for them to do than evangelize on street corners and put up ridiculously stupid signs that nobody will pay any atention to. Any suggestions?

waiting for excitement

Lately I haven't really found anything worth blogging about, which is pretty evident given my complete disappearance. It's not that there's nothing exciting going on in the world, it's more that my lack of a stable internet connection over the summer has made it difficult to actually finish a post. It seems my internet waits to crap out until I hit the "publish" button, and then it crashes. I go back to find the draft, only to find that it has disappeared without a trace. Maybe my computer is possessed or something. Maybe God or whoever is punishing me for my liberal political views... I don't know, but anyway it hasn't been working.

This post was completely pointless, but i'll definitely be back at the end of august when I go back to school and a stable internet connection.

"I'm sending this email to let you know... that you might have HIV"

Is it just me or is telling someone you slept with that they might have an STI by email a bad idea?

On this lovely site, inspot.org, you can send emails to previous sexual partners to let them know they may have been infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Have you had multiple partners? never fear! the site ensures that you can send multiple emails, from your own email address or even anonomously. You can select a pre-written message, complete with useful links for whichever STI you choose (they're all there), or you can write your own message.

Don't get me wrong, I think it's awsoem to let people know if they may have been exposed to something, but I can see a couple of problems with this. Firstly, if I knew someone's email address, and their partner's email address, I could do some serious damage. there are always idiots who will send stuff like that to random people just to be immature. April fools!

Let's assume now that all is well, and we have mature adults who would not do something like that. What if the person you're sending this e-card to had a really high spam filter on their acount? They don't get the message, and they run around possibly infecting other people with the infection they now have.

There are probably some instances in which this is a useful tool, but for the most part the idea kind of weirds me out.

So, if you're looking for a really insensitive way to tell someone they might be infected with something, you now know where to go.

For The Bible tells me so

For anyone who is interested in, or wants a new perspective on homosexuality and the Bible, I totally recommend the movie "For the Bible tells me so." I've been told to watch it a few times but haven't until now. It does show both sides, but it emphasizes the role that the church currently plays in homophobia and the consequences that result.

No good deed goes unpunished

First, we have the Tim Horton's employee who was fired for giving some kid a timbit. Now, an Owen Sound restaurant employee is arrested for shaving her head to raise money for cancer. I don't really buy the whole gender discrimination thing in this particular case ( I thinkk that's kind of iffy because gender had nothing to do with it), but this is a bit ridiculous. If anything you'd think the restaurant would emphasize the fact that their employees cared about the community instead of firing them for raising money for a good cause. Wayta go Dan Hilliard, I think you just earned yourself Jerk of the Year with this one.